15 February 2011

Love letters

-Tammy Bell

I am not one to celebrate Valentines day it is a load of horse shit if you ask me. I spent the night with my parents. It is their 25th anniversary. 25th! Madness! I got to thinking what happened to 'love'? Like serious, mad, everlasting, till death do us part love? People have changed, society has changed, women are empowered and it is career before a family, don't get me wrong it is great it really is, but love seems to have fucked right off this planet. 

People get married, to get divorced, to get prenups, to get their share. What happened to mad head-over-heals-no-one-else-in-the-world-matters-other-than-your-one love? Women don't care, men pay little respect so every one sleeps around looking for fulfillment, meaning, depth, some people have one night stands more meaningful than some of the relationships out there. Old war time pictures, I think that is the key. I think some of those images hold the extent to what a love could be like. It really is quite dooming. I think- my parents have been together for 31 years, married for 25. It is almost like the whole world should stop and recognize these people, this is Oscar worthy, this commitment, still madly deeply in love. 

My life, what ever I achieve or what ever I do means nothing. I want to die in love, I want my very last thought on this earth to be in love, it is amazing how not having someones's trust breaks a spirit. Tarnishes a soul. But it is also beautiful to see what happens when people let go when you fall together. I want to feel fulfilled and know in the depths of my being I loved to my death, with complexity, because at the end of 'your' day you don't take anything with you. I'd cherish that. I'd like that to my death. Maybe I'm a little romantic. Maybe it's all the true love around me. Maybe it's me going mental. I don't know but I do know that if one man can commit to one woman, and visa versa, for so many years then there is hope yet. A little country for this emotive state. Love me, wholly, because not everything about me is beautiful I have my scars, my discretions, but love all of me my black marks too?! This is why I hate Valentine's Day really gets me thinking.

1 comment:

TamMN said...

Beautiful words Tam! Truely.
I have found that love you are talking about. And thats why i love Valentines Day - because its a day especially there to honour love. So although we didnt exchange cards or go out or anything, it made me reflect on how lucky I am and really appreciate my man. I think a day like that is needed once a month at least in a world where the stresses of everyday life often take over and leave you taking for granted the love you share with your partner.
Hell it prompted you to have some deep and profound thoughts which resulted in this post - cant be all bad then ey?! ;)

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