2 August 2010


I think sometimes at some point everyone has felt like they want to run and never stop, dissappear, vanish not for ever but for a little while.  But you don't, you can't people need you they rely on you and life needs you no matter how little and insignificant you feel at times. It's a lesson a journey not an outcome you may never find utopia or be at the top of the triangle. You may never make the money you wanted, buy the house you want, but life shuts doors and opens others. Sometimes its a window and you spend so long looking for the door you miss the window but there is always a way, a path. And no matter how old you are or how much experienced you have gained you will never be an A student in life. And that is the great thing that the journey may be long and tedious at times and sore and uncomfortable and disappointing but you never stop learning you get wiser, you never get a second chance at life but you learn you keep learning and growing. 

People are sometimes a let down and confusingly you sometimes hurt the ones you love the most the worse, sometimes you trip 2,3 maybe 4 times but you get up you try again and you learn you learnt. You learnt that next time you fall you can get up you can beat it. You learn that you can't hold everyone up forever and sometimes its okay not be strong enough. Sometimes you need to be held up and its not a sign of weakness its a sign of realness and being human and being able to trust someone to hold you up when you are vulnerable, weak. You grow closer together. You learn to forgive and its not always easy but you learn that you can. You learn that when you love you put your heart on the line and the line may not be very long or strong but the feeling of true love is worth the risk. You learn that risks are necessary to learn and grow. Sometimes you make the same mistakes twice, and some lessons you are taught over because you never got it. You learn that you are no one to play with other peoples heart and that you will, at some point, be heart broken somewhere in life you will be heart broken. In love you will get your heart broken by someone you love a partner, a friend, a family member peoples hearts break in different ways but hurt is hurt and everyone has felt it. Everyone. And I am learning still learning, I have figured out what I want, what is important to me and who I would risk it all to protect love and support.