19 December 2010

Picture Pretty Products in Pink

Every lady on this planet have their own beauty tips and secrets that work for them and products that go with them, and I am sure I am not speaking about myself when I say they range from cheap House hold names to more expensive splurges. However, personally I have found a great brand. A brilliant brand to pamper and treat yourself leaving you feeling buffed, cleansed, scrubbed and smelling like a million pounds. It is no secret that packaging is one way to catch the eye of the shopper and what other way to do this than with great girl pink, vintage photographs of women, eye catching graphics and hilarious puns on products. It is fun, young, looks great on the shelves and hey, they even do amazing cosmetics bag with funky prints. Now I have my few key items that I will, bless their little components, never ever get rid of. But, who says you can have too many indulgent products it is like shoes if they make you feel like a million bucks, why the hell stop. So thank you Soap & Glory (from all Boots stores). 

There sexiness runs from outside right to the last drop inside their products. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE can I say LOVE one more time, the Super-Colour Sexy Mother Pucker Lip Gloss it is AMAZING and you can feel your lips tingle and they swell in size and leave you with the perfect kissable and dare-I-say 'blowjob' lips. It is amazing and honestly the greatest last addition to any great make up kit. I also LOVE Scrub Your Nose In It which is a facial exfoliator and teams up to be a great facial mask too. These products are all amazing and every single one I have tried has never let me down. The more I try the more in love I fall. And the greatest thing about this brand is they are affordable, look very attractive and sexy in your bathroom cabinet, and they leave you feeling very 1920 Hollywood. Dive in and enjoy! You can find all you need to know on their website below. (And a little secret, get to Boots now they have great 3 for 2 offers and gift sets on sale) Shop. Shop. Shop ladies!

8 November 2010

Autumn Awesomeness

There is something about this Autumn season that knots my tummy and sends butterflies fluttering everywhere, maybe its the last glow of the summer that leaves the golden, orangy-red leaves thinking they are our last vision of summer so beautiful that you don't mind the cold creeping in slowly. The suns rays have lost its intensity yet still leaves a soft light lingering in our hearts and our skin cries out for more. Autumn is so crisp and fresh and its the best season to be in love. You don't  need to rely on the comfort and warmth of someone during the winter or the hot passionate sweaty summer flings when you only want it sometimes but you chose it you want it because it warms you inside and keeps your value of love alive everything around you is so beautiful and whats more beautiful that loving some one loving someone over yourself where you can spend every minute of the day eyes closed, listening to the soothing sound of their voice or feeling the intensity of their touch leaving pins and needles when they remove it? What is more mind blowing than day dreaming about that some one all day whenever your head wanders, to look at your phone every 5 seconds just because he may have text you since the last time you checked, that silly, giddy love affair that blows your mind and leaves you panting and breathless you're body crying out for more. When no one else matters other than you and him breathing in and out at the same time. There is something about this season that gets my blood boiling and my head racing my heart pumping so fast that i cant keep count of my pulse. So until winter I will embrace my every craving border lining obsessive emotional state and enjoy it. My Autumn song choice. Listen, love and feel.


4 November 2010

What Happened to Us?

What is it about common society that get you thinking you are the only person on this planet sane, or insane, enough to actually be with it here? What is it about time that passes so quickly before you've turned around to glimpse at it it's gone? What happened to romance? Love? true unspeakably silliness that gets you all tongue tied and weak at the knees? I ponder so many of these things. 

Some times I sit on the tube or on a bus and realise that partially I have become one of the blank canvas faced Londoners who think they are the only sane person alive. But what about that drunk or 'crazy' person on the way do they know the true meaning on 'sanity' when a simple hello have a nice day meant enough to someone to make them smile. Now all we do is shuffle over a little read our book stare out the  window turn u the music, when in fact we really want to giggle? Or speak to this person but don't in fear of being placed in the same crazy loony column? Well today I will embark on my journey, my journey that means I will smile at those I think need it, I will laugh when I find something funny and I will walk with my eyes more open. It's all these sorts of things that get me thinking people everyday people men and woman have killed romance I mean a smile from a stranger that put a swagger in your step has become non existent. Women complain men don't have romance men complain women are needy. What has become of those days when words and poetry spoke the language of love in our hearts, were one man loved one woman enough to end his life, not for a year or two or mabye 8 but a lifetime? Where one woman fulfilled his every desire and need? And what happened to the woman to held herself in such high respect that a man had to get to know her make the effort fall in love before falling into bed? One night stands, and technology have taken all this away and replaced it with feminism and woman wanting to be equal to man? So badly that she lost herself on the way, she lost what she valued most and now will spend the rest of every day feeling unfulfilled? Hmmmmm.... I think I am thinking too much into these things ha ha.

2 August 2010


I think sometimes at some point everyone has felt like they want to run and never stop, dissappear, vanish not for ever but for a little while.  But you don't, you can't people need you they rely on you and life needs you no matter how little and insignificant you feel at times. It's a lesson a journey not an outcome you may never find utopia or be at the top of the triangle. You may never make the money you wanted, buy the house you want, but life shuts doors and opens others. Sometimes its a window and you spend so long looking for the door you miss the window but there is always a way, a path. And no matter how old you are or how much experienced you have gained you will never be an A student in life. And that is the great thing that the journey may be long and tedious at times and sore and uncomfortable and disappointing but you never stop learning you get wiser, you never get a second chance at life but you learn you keep learning and growing. 

People are sometimes a let down and confusingly you sometimes hurt the ones you love the most the worse, sometimes you trip 2,3 maybe 4 times but you get up you try again and you learn you learnt. You learnt that next time you fall you can get up you can beat it. You learn that you can't hold everyone up forever and sometimes its okay not be strong enough. Sometimes you need to be held up and its not a sign of weakness its a sign of realness and being human and being able to trust someone to hold you up when you are vulnerable, weak. You grow closer together. You learn to forgive and its not always easy but you learn that you can. You learn that when you love you put your heart on the line and the line may not be very long or strong but the feeling of true love is worth the risk. You learn that risks are necessary to learn and grow. Sometimes you make the same mistakes twice, and some lessons you are taught over because you never got it. You learn that you are no one to play with other peoples heart and that you will, at some point, be heart broken somewhere in life you will be heart broken. In love you will get your heart broken by someone you love a partner, a friend, a family member peoples hearts break in different ways but hurt is hurt and everyone has felt it. Everyone. And I am learning still learning, I have figured out what I want, what is important to me and who I would risk it all to protect love and support.

20 June 2010

Affective State of Consciousness

Life is not fair life is sick and hard and unfair and cruel and you never understand it. Ever. How do you wrap your head around it? How do you make sense of it, how did you not see it coming? How did you not help. How do you forgive life for it. How do you forgive them?! How can we forgive you Raq? Can we? 

I don't want to be angry I just want to be happy when I think of you and I want to laugh at the memories, but I can't now. When I think of you now, I feel sick deeply, intensely, to the bone, sick. I can't think of you without being so angry, how were you so selfish, we could have helped you through it. You had so many people who would have helped you through it. I don't understand any of it.  You took a piece of all of us away when you left. You chose to leave it was not your choice to make. It was not your right to take your life. You didn't have the right to decide your time was up. Why did you do it why why did you do that to everyone?! I don't want to be angry with you. I don't I want to take it away. I am numb and angry and confused and sore and hurt and angry at you. 

Why didn't you hold on long enough for one of us to catch you. I cry to this song, these words, every time. It hurts, so so much. God Bless you Raq, always and forever. We will spend everyday for the rest of our lives missing you. You were too much for this world, she couldn't handle you. I hope you found your peace.

17 June 2010

Delicately Beautiful

So many things in life are delicate. Relationships with people. Nurture them always.

8 June 2010


Love. What a funny thing. It is a four letter word that makes girls go crazy and boys run for the hills. It is a word that makes a relationship go to the 'next step', it brings reassurance, confidence and happiness to those it touches. Well, I don't know if it's the ideals and dreams that is put into your head as a little girl as you lie in bed wide eyed open minded searching for questions and answers from the pretty pink glittery coloured books your mother read to you. About a Knight in Shining Armour slaying the dragon or the hero who saved her from the tower or from the witch or from the spell. So many versions and stories or, if it's Daddy calling you his 'little princess' while you giggle, plastic crown cockered, sliding off your little braided haired head, as Daddy gathers you up in his arms.  Or if its the war stories Granny told you about how love finds its way or if its the psychological bull shit that is fed through feel good chick flicks which make every one want to fall in love but, the movies end where they do for a reason. Before reality strikes. Before your dreams and years of mental propaganda on the ideals, rules, steps and feelings of love. Maybe every little girl dreams of her Prince Charming while laying in bed at night, building him up into her head. So who do you blame for heart ache and pain?! Do you blame the person that, in some cases you share years with, children with, houses with, even grand children with. Do you blame them, or do you blame your naive youth and misconception about the world and its 'love' and societies 'love' or yourself for falling for the movie lines and black and white pictures lined up on your grandparents mantel piece.  Or do you blame them all. I was a little girl once. With those thoughts, dreams, ideals and 'fairy-tales', they're called that for a reason, fairies do not exist and tales well, they speak for themselves. I went that route, came out unsuccessful, dreams shattered thoughts confused, ideals lost. But you learn my tale took a little long because I guess when something is meant to be the way you expect and it doesn't go that way- you are confused. So your heart, it speaks the truth,- feel. Do not think. Feel. Because love is a feeling not a thought it is not analytical, sensible, intelligent, it just is.... Love, a simple word, it is a feeling, it is an emotion but there are no rules or guide books or people who study for years and charge money to find problems, which probably are there for a reason. No one can fix your love or break your love. Love is simply as the dictionary puts it-  passionate affection for another person. It is not fire works, confetti, weak knees, 'popping' kisses, google-eyed. Love is unique, your love is different to my love, my love is different to the next. Love is fire and passion and love is being able to hate and fight with as much passion as you 'love' (verb) with. Love is sometimes shit and love is sometimes an ass hole and a bitch and love sometimes makes you say things you don't mean, horrible things to the person who is suppose to own yours, love is not always nice and easy and simple and 'happily ever after' love is sometimes a big dick which fucks you over and leaves marks in places that feel like they do not heal. But they do. Love is dramatic, love is selfish and love is unreasonable and yeah love can be greedy too.  Love is sometimes having to stand down, and give in. And let go, love.is.sometimes.having. to.let.go. So while the memories and tales that have been with me in my head for years sound lovely and easy and pretty, it is not love.  So to everyone who finds love in there lives, in whatever form or intensity. Find true love. Find real. Passionate. Fire burning love. Find true love. And realise it when you do. Because that is only when love never fails!

7 June 2010

Today's Addiction

Two great songs to feed today's fix.

24 May 2010

An Instance of this

It is crazy we are coming up to one year. You've been on my mind a lot lately. I want to know how you are, if you are happy, if you are lonely, and I would still like to know why you, you must know by now, why you were taken away and why when you left a lot of people lost a lot of themselves. You had this heart, which was just so big and loving and caring and trustworthy and you just had too much love to give everyone, too much love,  even when you hurt you found it in you to forgive and to love again. You were an inspiration to all who crossed your path, all who you touched, thank you for joining mine for so long and for leaving your footprints on my journey. Your presence is something i miss every single time I think about you. How your smile lit up any room and every one loved having you around because you just made every one so happy without even knowing or trying. I still battle to find the words most times, in fact I have been looking for them for a year and I am still no closer, feels like apart of me is still holding my breathe to wake up.  Seb, you are missed to every one who was blessed to know you.  I will be thinking about you a lot the next few days. Loving you always, you were our own living breathing James Dean, too much for this world she never quite knew what to do with you or how to handle your capacity. She couldn't take you or place you or show you. You showed her. I miss you my boy every day. Watch us all, and keep spreading your love. I could do with some of it now. Thank you for the memories Tamatie and for the smile that's still etched in my thoughts of you. God bless you Sebastien. Here is what I wrote to you a year ago. It still stands. Every. Single. Word.

As the sun rises to bring another day alive
I cant help but feel what I'm feeling inside
And I am so angry you never, you never survived
You were always the one who made people smile
And as the sun hits the ocean i forget life awhile
And I'm taken to a place where there's no today or tomorrow
A place so far away you don't feel any sorrow
A place where your smile move mountains and stars
And every song in my heart is played by your guitar

And then all of a sudden its gets very dark
And the truth and reality hits me so hard.
I feel like someone is squeezing my chest
So hard that it feels like I'm loosing my breath
I shake, my heart races, from this anxiety attack
It's real, your gone, and you're never coming back
Tears fill my eyes every time this occurs
And I search for answers which are all just blurs

Why, oh why, dear God did you take him away
He meant so much to everyone and they all feel this way
He had so much to do and so much to achieve
And he was the guy who epitomized 'Wear your heart on your sleeve'

There are so many feelings so much emotion inside
Anger and hate and confusion with tears cried
You have no idea how many hearts you touched,
How much your brought to each, and everyone of us

But life is a story with a begin and end
And we never quite know whats just around its' bend
No one really knows how long their book lasts
But only that there is an end, and there's a start
Yours was a great, huge, epic story which ran out of words and ended too shorty

Now as life moves on and time creeps by
We'll still think of you and probably still cry
They say that time heals, and it's going to be okay
But I still ask the question "Who are they'?"
They are people who have never lost
Cause we will still miss you at every cost
And I still can't believe, believe that you're gone
It's been over a month and it still feels wrong

But just so you know we'll never forget
All the memories we'll treasure without getting upset
So this is the final, the final goodbye
And every time we think of you we'll look at the sky
And as the wind blows and the sun rises and sets
There's no point being angry no point being upset
Because with the wind at our back and the sun on our face
We all know you've gone to a much better place

So our heads we'll lift and our eyes we'll dry
And we'll all meet again in that place in the sky
But until then we'll love you forever
And we'll think of your spirit and try to 
-Tammy Bell

19 May 2010

Delirious Artistry

Right. Its that time of the year again you know when the cherry blossom blows her confetti all over the road, every thing around you is getting laid, the birds chirp earlier that sun sets later, the alcohol flows easier, the hangovers become a way of life, the parks fill up, London commuters may even grace you with a smile, clothes become less complex. It's generally a lovely time of year on Mud Island.  The smell of, what my loss of cultural inheritance now calls a, BBQ, the sounds of laughter, the cursing of how your 'get in shape' new years resolution failed even though you could have sworn you vowed it a few days prior. But the best time of the year involves tents, bands, debauchery, a few chunders, the reminisce of your previous night in the form of UDI's         (unidentified drinking incidents), which ungracefully form a map cautioning you of the regret you will have on Monday morning back in the office after a weekend of hippy loving free for all fornicating fuckery. Nevertheless, the more you think the more you drink.  

So gumboots in hands, I shall pilgrimage off to the land of the unknown  searching for the answers to a few days of the simple life where sheeps are painted an array of colours, where getting lost in the forest is a way of life, where the music is coaxing you into her abyss by sweetly seducing you with her subtle sexiness and where for 72 hours you are euphoric.  I will be one of these people this year, I will be that person residing in a sweaty dirty tent with someone, groaning about how the noises in my head and constant throbbing have nothing to do with anything other than a lack of sleep and my views on cosmic affairs have now made themselves apparent after the remains of the previous nights altercations have yet to leave my head, all while other sweetly look at me emphasizing that they, in fact, too cannot comprehend the capacity of space or how our universe is nothing bigger than than one of the many grains of sand which have now taken residence on the floor of our tents and how it is insignificant in the greater scheme of things if we compare it to our surroundings we mean nothing. Bring of Festival fever.

2 May 2010

Black Mountain

This band. This Canadian band. WOW. I will let them speak for themselves.

22 March 2010


Music is a gift from the God's and no matter what mood you are in or how you are feeling. There is always a song to soothe your soul. This is my choice today.

20 March 2010

A marvelous imaginary realm.

As the darkness decends on your once saved soul, you go back to a place
which i'll never know.
You once were an innocent little girl, in daddys oyster you were the pearl.
You had it all on a tray, your life was great but then you stray.
Your road did fork like many do, but you chose the path not right for you.
You chose a path of no return, now in your own hell your soul will burn.

You crush and hurt those who care, then curl in a ball and cry in despair.
Just like Alice you fell in a hole, and the further you go you lose more control.
Will you ever rise above it all, or will you do again, will you just fall?

Was it everything you wished, as you soared through
the sky chasing the Dragon while we said goodbye.
So many have helped you, so many have tried but they've all washed their hands, their knots they've untied.
Now they lie on the floor broken and alone, the people you left, while you sit on your throne.
You got what you want. Now you're Queen of it all, but as quick as you rose is as quick as you'll fall.
You were lead by stardust inticed and controlled, and unto the devil your soul you have sold.
You've reached a point of no return you break Daddys heart and Mommy still yearns,

she yearns for her princess who can not be saved,
while YOUR knight in shining armour leads you to your grave.
-Tammy Bell