Aesthetic

When you are next alone. In your room or other place of security. Lie down. Close your eyes. Let this song transport you to the place that is in your soul. Your deepest memory. Let this song take you on an epic journey. Your epic journey. It is deep. And soulful. And majestic. I don't know where it takes you. But let it. You will be surprised at what memories or wishes it brings you. Love. One word we all can use, give and spread. Don't let anyone who means anything to you go without knowing this. Everyday. Dustin Kensrue originally of Thrice, has taken a piece of music and touched my deepest senses. What does it do to you?

Eternal Roam

So a lovely weekend has come and gone and I got to spend Father's Day with the most inspirational Dad in the universe, obviously that is my own biased opinion, and my beautiful sister. I really do feel blessed to have such an amazing, loving family. Sometimes I wonder what exactly I ever did to deserve these rocks in my life and I just spend everyday telling them I love them and thanking God for my wonderful magnificent family and just appreciate them. 

Today is June 20th 2011, today 2 years ago I joined a  massive group of friends and family in the worst news of many of our lives. We lost a very special and dear friend at a very young and it has been a rocky roller coaster ride of emotions. Ups and downs and turns and nauseating twists and heart breaking stops. It is one of the worst things in the world to experience and I think about him every day and where he'd be and what he'd be doing. Time never makes things easier, it never takes the pain away however Time will never take the memories away nor the special moments we were all lucky enough to share. Today 2 years ago my heart broke, shattering into a million pieces and my world momentarily ended, it's been 730.48 days and at moments- it's felt like yesterday but in those 700 and something days I have learnt a lot about myself and about others. You can never take something away that never really belonged to you in the first place, that he was a Son of the Earth and God's child who obviously needed him more than we did, that you have to find a way to deal with it yourself and to say goodbye in a way that works for you, I learnt that the Human spirit is one helluva thing and it takes a lot to break it, that people can get up and rebuild their lives long after they think they can't and that it is important to love and treasure those who have left footprints on your heart no matter how many or for how long, I've learnt that the one minute or so it takes to send a message or thought or give a call is one minute you'll never regret, I've learnt if you let something/ someone live in your heart they can never be taken away from you they become immortal because you'll always have the memories and experiences, I've learnt that no matter how angry you get at anyone or anything it won't bring them back all it does is decay your soul and you can not blame anyone for things you do not, yourself in fact, understand and I've learnt that time heals nothing- it only makes things a little more bearable and I have learnt that it is okay to fall apart to break and question and hurt and cry and feel like your world has ended and in turn to get back up bleeding and bruised, take a deep breath and try to walk again no matter how much it hurts, that sometimes the answers for your questions will never be clarified and that all you can do is carry on and stop asking. Today my thoughts go out to Sebastien's family and to all his closest friends and those that loved this special man, who we were all lucky enough to know, even for such a short time. He was the James Dean of his life too fast, too hard, too excessive, too young. We'll love you, always. 

This song makes me smile. One day, we all will walk with him again. 

Istigkeit

Incase you are wondering, 'Istigkeit' means 'Is-ness', neither agreeable nor disagreeable it just is, used by Meister Eckhart. 'The Being of Platonic philosophy- except that Plato seems to have made the enormous, the grotesque mistake of separating Being from becoming, and identifying it with the mathematical abstraction of the Idea. He could  never, poor fellow, have seen a bunch of flowers shining in their own inner light and all but quivering under the pressure of the significance with which they were charged, could never have perceived that what rose and iris and carnation so intensely signified was nothing more, and nothing less, than what they were- a transience that was yet eternal life, a perpetual perishing that was at the same time pure Being, a bundle of minute, unique particulars in which, by some unspeakable and yet self-evident paradox, was to be seen the divine source of all existence.' -Aldous Huxley The Doors of Perception


So I recently shot a few style ideas by the talented Blanka Biernat, for Self Indulgent Geek, styled by the inspiring and breathtaking Ange Hughes. Despite the shitty rain we got some great shots over countless cups of coffee and tea, biscuits and fashion mags. We will be doing something again soon, so the excitement is starting to overwhelm me. Keep your eyes open! And just for the weekend I've attached a great song. Enjoy x

Heartless

There are some music writers out there that are on a completely different level to society. They find a feeling, an instance, a moment in time and record it in such a way that it appeals to thousands and becomes timeless. Tracy Chapman is one such creative. Her song 'Remember The Tinman' describes- in such a beautiful story- someone who questions the debris of a loved one who has only the remains of a shattered heart and broken soul from a toxic ex love. It captures the feeling and results in such a beautiful way that you feel for and with the song. Life's so short. Let things free, let them fly and don't let them cloud your soul or decay your heart. Don't let someone who doesn't deserve hold onto you, because all it does it prevent you from being your utmost best. Mourn it, let it crush you and break you, let the anger fill your heart... but then..... let it go, let it free. Everyone has a history but don't let that be all you are about. 

The underlying story of The Tin Man in The Wizard Of Oz is a story worth knowing. Like Chapman wrote 'Remember the Tinman found he had what he thought he lacked, remember the Tinman find your heart and take it back'. Big love peeps. x